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Festive friction

Weekend Today, January 29 - 30, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)
From http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20110129/2901COW003.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC110129-0000190/Festive-friction
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Jan 29, 2011



PHOTO: What's with all the hating during CNY? This festive business of taking delight at the misfortune of others was open season — anyone who came to visit believed they could (and should) make unsolicited comments about you.
Artwork by YEN YOK, Copyright © MediaCorp Press Ltd
http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/cmsfileserver/showimageCC.aspx?450&302&f=2070&img=2070_336335.jpg&h=450&w=302
Weekend Today, January 29 - 30, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)



PHOTO: Georgina Chang
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.
Weekend Today, January 29 - 30, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)


A time to feast, visit, and be made to feel bad about yourself
I LOVE festive seasons for the atmosphere of abundant food and convivial (Friendly, lively, and enjoyable) fellowship.

However, just as Christmas has become a frenzied rush of buying presents for colleagues you don't really like, Chinese New Year has become the ostentatious (pretentious display) theatrics of projecting false pretences to relatives who don't seem to like you very much.

In this materialistic society, we can't help being self-conscious of our outward appearances. So we need to create a facade of success and contentment. The car, house, gadgets, job and offspring's academic success are indicators to measure how worthy we are.



PHOTO: Chinese New Year has become the ostentatious (pretentious display) theatrics of projecting false pretences to relatives who don't seem to like you very much.
http://ph.88db.com/ph/html/lifestyle/images/beauty/spa-pic1.jpg http://ph.88db.com/ph/html/lifestyle/beauty_spa_massage.htm


Unfortunately, this judgement is according to the people you didn't choose to have in your life, like family and relatives. But their opinions affect us profoundly.

If you thought reckoning only comes after the good life has ceased and the soul has arrived at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, you're wrong.

Reckoning comes at Chinese New Year.

With the steep hike in car prices and home down payments, anyone who's succeeded in acquiring either one is automatically guaranteed an elevated status amongst his cousins.

Growing up, I observed the relentless comparisons of who had more material acquisitions while the less well-off were discussed about in tones of smug (excessive pride) schadenfreude (german word for glee).

This festive business of taking delight at the misfortune of others was open season - anyone who came to visit believed they could (and should) make unsolicited comments about you.

My teenage sister, who had an abundant appreciation of her carbohydrates (and desserts) bore the brunt of it. The relatives were swift to marvel at how big/fat/chubby she had become, as if there was a prize for highlighting her generous girth (a measure around a body).

I was lucky since I was the ugly duckling of the family. My slightest improvements were fawned upon, albeit (although) with pitying nods.

Women get it especially bad at Chinese New Year. For the single woman, there's the inevitable: "Why you don't have a boyfriend?" accompanied by snide (mocking) looks.

If she has a boyfriend: "When are you getting married?" (with disparaging [little value] looks).

If she's married: "When are you going to have kids?" (with black looks).

If she has a daughter: "Why you don't try for a son?" (with disapproving looks).

Never-ending pressure.

I say take the drastic step and shut them up forever. Yes, it's disconcerting when they gasp, chastise you or complain to your parents. But the years of peace and quiet after is worth it.

My 33-year-old friend William was a swinging bachelor, sampling the company of several women. Tired of the badgering (ask repeatedly and annoyingly) on why he wasn't married, he decided to end it by deadpanning: "I have a boyfriend."

He was never harassed again.

Another friend lied tearfully: "My fiance got a 21-year-old pregnant." She enjoyed the awkward silence and averted eye contact for the next few years.

Married couples who try to justify why they're childless - you know, "We like our freedom" or "We prefer dogs" - are frowned upon with great disdain. Try, instead: "My tubes are impaired" or "John has low sperm count". Don't forget to wear a pained expression.

And then there's the hong bao predicament of childless couples. It's unfair that you're forking out your hard -earned cash to other families, and getting nothing back. It's disproportionate, I say.

It's not that you're stingy. It's the whole hassle, right? (Although if you are indeed a married, stingy person, there's no shame in that.)

You have to queue up at the bank for hours to get your stash of new $2 and $10 notes.

Then you have to painstakingly pack these into red packets and remember which ones have $2, $8 or $80.

Then hope that in the melee, you don't accidentally give your boss' kids the $2 hong bao. You won't have a promotion to brag about next year.

Be like my pal Jason who promptly books himself and his wife a relaxing holiday in the Maldives or Mauritius every time CNY rolls round. Now that's your hong bao money well spent.

Chinese New Year should not be about having your self-esteem bashed by insensitive people, or feeling dread about seeing certain members of the family tree, or feeling short-changed.

You shouldn't have to make excuses about your weight gain, lack of boyfriend/children/new car/snazzy job, or feel depressed about what the Chinese astrologists claim will happen in you according to your zodiac sign.

It's about eating too much bak kwa and pineapple tarts, staying up late for card games, and enjoying the comfort, love and laughter of a supportive family. And embracing positive anticipation for the year ahead.

Otherwise, standing in line at the bank just ain't worth it.

By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Jan 29, 2011
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.



PHOTO: You shouldn't have to make excuses about your weight gain, lack of boyfriend/children/new car/snazzy job, or feel depressed
http://i.pbase.com/g6/12/14912/2/83058305.JZunxQMm.jpg
http://www.pbase.com/photozone/image/83058305



Reference
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Bright, shiny and new

Weekend Today, January 15 - 16, 2011, Page T2, (The Fairer Text)
From http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20110115/1501COW002.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC110115-0000176/Bright,-shiny-and-new
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Jan 15, 2011



PHOTO: New year, new man, new perspective - leave the past in 2010
I enjoy new relationships — they are always full of buoyancy, anticipation and prospective lessons.
http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/cmsfileserver/showimageCC.aspx?450&298&f=1863&img=1863_330970.jpg&h=450&w=298
Weekend Today, January 15 - 16, 2011, Page T2, (The Fairer Text)



PHOTO: Georgina Chang
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.
Weekend Today, January 15 - 16, 2011, Page T2, (The Fairer Text)


New year, new man, new perspective - leave the past in 2010
I LIKE brand new things - like haircuts, dresses, shoes, cars, houses, and sometimes even a new boyfriend.

There's something about brand new things that inspires me to treat it with more meticulousness and prudence. Like when I get a new camera or phone. I don't want anyone else touching it with their grubby fingers, and I'd handle it carefully all the time - pristine in its original wrapping.

Same with a new car. I'd take really good care of it at first, with every little scratch, dent and bird poop counting as a major calamity. Nobody is allowed to drink, eat or sneeze in my car.

And I admit that I am very tolerant and deferential with a new boyfriend. His silly habits and traits are simply a source of bemusement, which make him more endearing to me.



PHOTO: Goodbye 2010, and hello 2011!
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4042/4232620227_7cd776d8dd_o.jpg
http://bestcityintheworld.wordpress.com/


We like new stuff because it's something we never had before. It's the stimulation of a new toy, gadget or look. Having new things makes us feel smug and superior. Didn't you have a swagger in your step when you showed off your new car/house/iPad? Maybe that's why some men decide to suddenly trade in their old wives for a newer, younger, shinier model.

Of course new situations involve change - and people don't usually like change. It is important to note, however, that this change was brought about by a choice that you made. It's not like when you got a new boss and had no say in the matter. Or the time your wife decided she wanted boob implants and you didn't get to suggest what the upsized cup should be.



PHOTO: A New Perspective - Main path through Chipaota
http://nourishinternational.org/blog/ut-peru-10/files/2010/07/DSC01770_3.jpg
http://nourishinternational.org/blog/ut-peru-10/


That's why I enjoy new relationships - they are always full of buoyancy, anticipation and prospective lessons. I like meeting new people and getting a diversity of ideas and perspectives. But not everyone shares my enthusiasm for a new partner. Or even new friends.

My friend John says, "I'm happy with the friends I have. Why do I need some more?" Jane says, "As we get older, we are more wary of people. Anyway, my time is so precious, I'd rather spend it with my family. Or spend it sleeping."

I think most of the hesitation comes from having been hurt or betrayed. The trusting nature we had as children has slowly eroded with nasty experiences.



PHOTO: An essential survival skill in this Info Age...
http://movingimages.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/managing-the-facebook-profile.jpg?w=405&h=342
http://movingimages.wordpress.com/


Instead of being cautious of people, I've decided to hone the skill of reading strangers quicker. I believe I can assess their personalities and their traits faster than I was able to in my naive youth. Of course, I still get unpleasantly surprised sometimes, but it's well worth it if in the process I develop some wonderful relationship and receive more enlightenment about human nature.

There is always a reason why you meet the people you do, as no meeting is accidental. So if you close yourself off and put up walls fend off potential new friendships, you're limiting your own human experience.

And by not expanding your circle of friends, you're effectively reducing the expansion of your own mind.



PHOTO: The Dawn of a New Age
http://www.spiritualexcellence.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/dawn-new-earth.jpg
http://www.spiritualexcellence.com/blog/the-dawn-of-a-new-age/dawn-new-earth/
http://www.spiritualexcellence.com/blog/


Newness also suggests a fresh slate. You can forget the mistakes of the past and focus on the intentions of the future. It lets me forgive myself and makes me feel renewed.

With this brand new year, I am filled with excitement about possibilities and the opportunities.



PHOTO: Happy New Year
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb271/ciaobellahair/___and_no_more_war____by_Wildfire20.jpg
http://www.myspace.com/missxango

Yes, there are already a thousand challenges and obstacles, but I'm looking forward to beating them - my energy level is high, my eyes and mind are fresh, and I'm not weary with the accumulated burdens and frustrations of the last 12 months. There's something about crossing from last year to this one (marked with fireworks and champagne, of course) that has given me the mental resolution to leave previous problems and frustrations back in 2010.
PHOTO: Leave present sanctuary and enter a new sanctuary
http://anadoptedangle.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/hwacheon.jpg
http://anadoptedangle.wordpress.com/

Of course, many of those frustrations have not been resolved, but with an invigorated approach and perspective, they don't feel as agonising or oppressing as they once did. After all, unhappiness and worries are only as aggravating or consequential as you allow them be.

So how this year pans out will mostly be within my control, based on my actions and decisions - made with the benefit of the lessons I've learnt from my mistakes last year.

A friend kindly pointed out that my new year verve will probably last only a few months. But the freshness of new possibilities is driving me for now, and I'm going to ride the surf and enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

Until some other new thing comes along to revive me.
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Jan 15, 2011

The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.



PHOTO: !!HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!!
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-eJj3oZWku6gpAYXh7C46l9pjT_Yl7TbLDdXOTpdLW_asaAAwlGdOaeFp_elu9YHG9hU66yAbgCqMvjbasxcUu-HPO7o14No4JGpA3FXaaFjdnxIo-4cY8fty8bKJCj1hTnfA9WGmnQPs/s1600/Girls_Christmas_Girls_New_year_new_fiend_011591_.jpg
http://lockjaw-yappy.blogspot.com/2010/12/happy-holidays.html



PHOTO: Eventually, all New Years go this way!
Arrive, endure and depart
We add life to years Not simply years to life.
http://movingimages.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/goodbye-2010-hello-20112.jpg?w=847&h=567
http://movingimages.wordpress.com/



PHOTO: Wishing You A Happy New Year
http://www.designdazzling.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Happy-New-Year-31.jpg
http://savidgereads.wordpress.com/



PHOTO: How To Find True Happiness in 2011
In daylights, in sunsets
In midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, a year in the life?
Seasons of Love, RENT
http://www.theartofaudacity.com/how-to-find-true-happiness/
http://www.theartofaudacity.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Happy-New-Year-Sydney.jpg


Reference
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Baggage claim, Why can’t we just leave where it is?

Source: weekend today December 18 - 19, 2010, Page T3, column, (The Fairer Text)
From: http://imcms2.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20101218/1812COW003.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC101218-0000167/Baggage-claim
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Dec 18, 2010



PHOTO: We all can learn to be less selfish.
Many of us want closure from those who hurt us before we can really let go and move on. But, chances are, we're never going to get it. The only closure that's attainable is in your own mind.
Copyright © MediaCorp Press Ltd
weekend today December 18 - 19, 2010, Page T3, column, (The Fairer Text)




PHOTO: Georgina Chang
weekend today December 18 - 19, 2010, Page T3, column, (The Fairer Text)
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.


I LOVE the process of meeting people and discovering if they'll be a part of my life forever, but sometimes I wonder if the adversities of my past are limiting my experience.

My friend Peter was telling us about his new love interest and in the spirit of friendly support, we gave our expert pointers on how to "close the deal" - thoughtful gestures to get her to commit. Then we realised that a long-term relationship wasn't his gameplan. He was aiming for a midterm, no-strings-attached arrangement. I snorted: "You just want a friend with benefits!"



PHOTO: I love you but what if I'm not good enough for you and when we get closer you'll find out about all my bad habits and weaknesses and I'm sure your mother will have something to say about me that will influence you negatively towards me and I couldn't possibly survive a rejection of my feelings - why can't we just be friends for a while?
http://lh3.ggpht.com/chefkeem/SJKAnESkYZI/AAAAAAAAA7c/GfznEZKGdfE/s800/I_love_you.jpg
http://www.squidoo.com/say-i-love-you


Peter explained himself. "I want companionship and I want sex. However, I'm very happy with the way my life is now, so I don't need to bring someone else's sh*t into my life."

Here's the irony about baggage. We all have it - emotional, physical or mental. But none of us wants to have to deal with someone else's baggage (it's like having someone drag dog poo into your lovely apartment). So why do we still lug this albatross around our necks?

A friend of mine was deeply hurt by a cheating boyfriend. Years later, she still finds herself drawn to men who are unattainable, like married men. Or if she were to meet a decent single man, she would nitpick and magnify his smallest flaw and suddenly that great guy is a real jerk. It's her defence mechanism.

Another friend whose boyfriend cheated on her comforted herself with food, and gained 20kg in a fit of depression. Then she started to hook up with strangers in bars and on the Internet just for flings. I think she's chosen a path of self-destruction.

It's not a gender-specific problem. A friend who was deeply hurt by his ex embarked on a rampage of "love 'em and leave 'em" affairs. He's not happier now - he's just too afraid to trust any woman.

My colourful and varied life means that along with the many wondrous joys, it's also been tainted with heartbreaking disillusions. It's only now that I realise that I still haven't completely exorcised the disenchantment of my youth, and it's causing me to form unfair assumptions about people and situations.



PHOTO: If a date were to innocently give another girl on the street a second look, and I'd suspect he is the cheating kind.
http://thebsreport.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/stewardess.jpg
http://southwestmichiganwsjm.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html


For example, if a date were to innocently give another girl on the street a second look, and I'd suspect he is the cheating kind. A harmless comment by a family member immediately makes me feel like she's trying to find fault with me again.

My friend Steven is a very positive and charismatic person. He never gets angry and always has nice words for everyone.

He said: "I never take anything personally. Even if someone was nasty to me at work, or a family memberwas horrid to me, I'll forget it. Why go to their level, and why fight with yourself? I'll just stay true to me, be very nice and help them. The astonished looks on their faces is reward enough."

His generous life perspective amazed me.

I'm still struggling to let go of all the hurtful situations from family, friends and colleagues, so I'm not yet magnanimous enough to wholeheartedly extend all of myself to them. But maybe Steven's strategy is a proactive way to absolve yourself.

Carrie Fisher once said: "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." That Princess Leia might be on to something.



PHOTO: Everyone stares intently as we walk down the streets. They are probably thinking, "Wow, look at their big noses." But as soon as we sit down somewere, the astonishment is put aside and everyone is eager to help us.
http://photos.travellerspoint.com/91346/bench.jpg
http://amyandwim.travellerspoint.com/


Nobody thinks they are deliberately malicious to you (well, at least very few people do). It's their culmination of discontent that they are venting. It's their own frustrations and insecurities that make them callous with your feelings.

Steven was right. Don't take it personally. So my first baby steps is to feel sorry for them, and try to help them feel better about themselves.

That should change my own aura when I meet new friends and it would be a great start to laying good foundations for my new and current lifelong friendships.

Many of us want closure from those who hurt us before we can really let go and move on. But, chances are, we're never going to get it. The only closure that's attainable is in your own mind. It decides that chapter ofyour life is over, and you want to leave it in the past where it belongs.



PHOTO: Leave that cultural baggage behind for somewhere a little easier to just be. Pompeii.
Find yourself a little cocoon of home in this big, wide, wonderful world.
http://blogs.usyd.edu.au/sydneylife/images/Pompeii%203.JPG
http://blogs.usyd.edu.au/sydneylife/2006/08/home.html


Having your arms (and heart) wide open to new opportunities and relationships must be more liberating than keeping your hands full, clutching at mouldy, old, useless baggage.

I want that fabulous feeling of emancipation (to free from restriction or restraint, esp social or legal restraint). What about you?

By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Dec 18, 2010 The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.




PHOTO: December 5 – Let Go.
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
(Author: Alice Bradley)
This year was a year of letting go. Mental baggage, physical clutter, stressful relationships. These things invade our lives and steal time and mental space.

Let go. Put the burden down and move on. Very little that we carry around is useful or necessary.

Without it, your arms are free to hold the one you love, your mind is free to focus on what’s important, your heart is unburdened by the demands of those who take and don’t give back.

The real skill is not in letting go. The real skill is in not picking up a different burden to replace the one you have just put down.
http://notenoughwords.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/burden.jpg?w=500&h=331
http://notenoughwords.wordpress.com/



Reference
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Dark pleasures

Source: weekend today December 4 - 5, 2010, Page T3, column, (The Fairer Text)
From: http://imcms2.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20101204/0412COW003.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC101204-0000182/Dark-pleasures
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Dec 04, 2010



PHOTO: To err is human, to stuff your face with chocolate is divine The general consensus is that with chocolate, you're always guaranteed to feel good and be satisfied. With men, you're not always guaranteed to feel good and sometimes you’re left unsatisfied.
http://imcms2.mediacorp.sg/cmsfileserver/showimageCC.aspx?450&450&f=2185&img=2185_319200.jpg&h=450&w=450
http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC101204-0000182/Dark-pleasures
weekend today December 4 - 5, 2010, Page T3, COLUMN, the fairer text



PHOTO: Georgina Chang
weekend today December 4 - 5, 2010, Page T3, Column (The Fairer Text)
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.


I LOVE chocolate. I can easily eat three helpings of chocolate desserts a day, sometimes at one sitting. Preferably at one sitting.

Most women have the same fervour for chocolate. Present us with a luscious chocolaty cake covered with dark chocolaty fudge and our eyes light up with unbridled desire, accompanied by squeals of delight. All our weary worries are eradicated in that moment.



PHOTO: Special Dark
Though milk chocolate might win in a popularity contest, many experts have been lauding dark chocolate (especially the variety containing high cocoa content) because it’s chock-full of antioxidants. And according to Jordan Rubin, New York Times best-selling author of The Maker’s Diet, the sweet stuff releases endorphins and serotonin, which act as antidepressants. Some proponents also say that just a few pieces of the excellent-quality dark chocolate can seriously curb your cravings. It’s rich in chemicals that stabilize your brain when it longs for sugar—so it goes a long way. For another healthy bonus, go organic, too: “Regular chocolate is sprayed with heavy pesticides that we end up consuming,” Rubin says.
http://www.elle.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/sandbox/everything-bad-is-good-for-you/dark-chocolate/3504561-1-eng-US/Dark-Chocolate.jpg
http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Society-Career-Power/Everything-Bad-Is-Good-for-You


Meanwhile, most men look indifferently at this same gorgeous dessert that has just stirred up so much excitement among the women folk.

When I heard that the Chocolate Bar at Marina Bay Sands Sky Park was open to the public, I was one of the first to rush down for this delectable chocolate buffet. The chef had created 57 different kinds of chocolate desserts, including cakes, profiteroles, macaroons, ice-cream, mousse, torte, and truffles.

I felt like I was in heaven.



PHOTO: Dark Chocolate is proven to lower blood pressure. Depending upon your age, you can decrease your blood pressure if you are at a high risk of developing chronic hypertension, dark chocolate has clear benefits to your health.
Projects by Students for Students
http://library.thinkquest.org/06aug/02164/pbrain.jpg
http://library.thinkquest.org/06aug/02164/chocolate.htm


Every time I described that decadent experience to friends, the women empathised with my delirious joy.

The guys, on the other hand, were perplexed. "How can you eat so much dessert? Doesn't it make you feel sick? When I want chocolate, I just have a Kit Kat bar," they'd say.

Plebians (Belonging to, or characteristic of commoners. A person who is coarse, or lacking in discernment, keen insight and good judgment).

I've always wondered why men and women react so differently to chocolate.



PHOTO: Phenylethylamine is a substance popularly dubbed as the "Love Chemical" associated with feelings of attraction and excitement.
http://library.thinkquest.org/06aug/02164/chocolate1.jpg
http://library.thinkquest.org/06aug/02164/chocolate.htm


Chocolate has 400 flavour components, but it's the phenylethylamine that's credited for making you feel pleasure. It's a naturally occurring trace amine in the brain that releases dopamine in the mesolimbic pleasure-centres.

Say what? Well, all you need to know is that dopamine peaks during orgasm. So you can't blame us for sometimes saying that chocolate is better than sex.

The general consensus we giggle about is that with chocolate, you're always guaranteed to feel good and be satisfied. With men, you're not always guaranteed to feel good and sometimes you're left unsatisfied.

Giggle.



PHOTO: One of the other foods is actually one of our society’s guilty pleasures, chocolate.
Dark chocolate gets its wholesome properties from flavonoids , a group of polyphenolic compounds also found in foods such as red wine, tea, onions and parsley. Epicatechin , the particular flavonoid found in dark chocolate, helps the body in a number of important ways. Epicatechin acts as an antioxidant.
Antioxidants are chemicals that mop up free radicals —highly reactive molecules that can damage the body’s cells. Dark chocolate is twice as rich in antioxidants as red wine.
Projects by Students for Students
http://library.thinkquest.org/06aug/02164/deathbychoco.jpg
http://library.thinkquest.org/06aug/02164/chocolate.htm


So I realise that when I proclaim that I eat chocolate every day, I'm actually suggesting to the world that I'm not quite satiated in bed. Oh dear.

Chocolate makes women feel good but it's not the only thing. Diamonds, Prada bags, and a rich boyfriend could do the same thing, I imagine.

Meanwhile, beer makes guys feel good, same as watching football, having an iPad and a sexy girlfriend who wants to do it all the time.

It's inherent in us to search for things that make us feel pleasure. Life is constantly filled with crises and dilemma, so we have to do enjoyable activities to escape the negativity and stress.

An ex-boyfriend of mine used to flirt blatantly with the women at his office, which made me quite upset. Now I realise it was simply to relieve his daily frustrations and anxiety. A friend rides his bicycle furiously for six hours and comes back entirely sore and limping - but that's his way of releasing tension.



PHOTO: The Buzz on Coffee
While we recommend keeping your caffeine consumption in check, in Eat Drink and Be Healthy by Walter Willett, MD, (co-developed by the Harvard School of Public health), coffee is said to help decrease the possibility of developing kidney stones (because of its diuretic components) and gallstones (as it prevents stone formation). Also, the libation contains antioxidants, which have shown to lower the risk of diabetes and has antidepressant properties. “It helps elevate serotonin and dopamine in the body and boosts your mood,” says Dr. Orloff. However, she warns against drinking more than three cups a day: “It can burn out your gastric lining.”
http://www.elle.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/sandbox/everything-bad-is-good-for-you/coffee/3504588-1-eng-US/Coffee.jpg
http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Society-Career-Power/Everything-Bad-Is-Good-for-You


I think sitting in a cafe enjoying a chocolate torte and cappuccino would have the same relaxing effect, but these men won't listen to me.

It's probably an image thing. Telling his mates about his extreme sporting endurance and sexual conquests is manly. Sipping latte and nibbling on bits of baked goods isn't a macho thing to boast about.

I've tried to explain that the Aztec warriors used to sip this beverage straight (no milk, no sugar, just 100 per cent cocoa) to fortify themselves before battle and other types of conquests. Emperor Montezuma himself would consume 50 golden goblets of this to maintain his regal power.

These men still won't listen to me.

Enlightened guys, however, know that the way to a woman's heart is to give her copious amounts of chocolate. And by partaking in this gratification with her, he has achieved a closer bond and is guaranteed a fair bit of her favour.

But, still, he just can't bring himself to tell his friends he was at a chocolate buffet all afternoon.

Then there are some men who are genuinely enthusiastic about chocolate. They reassure me that the love of this dessert is not limited to the lack of fulfilling activity in the bedroom. These men know that they have a groovy move with the ladies. It's like finding out he's a great cook, a great masseuse, or that he's really witty and funny - when revealed to us, you become extremely attractive.

Now, in our pursuit of feel good factors, let us not be discouraged by naysayers who insist that chocolate is bad for you. I actually lost weight when I was working with a luxury chocolate boutique, simply by eating good chocolate every day.



PHOTO: The seemingly sinful dark chocolate which we always link with guilty pleasures can be quite good for your health. Chocolate is made from plants, which means it contains many of the health benefits of dark vegetables. Moreover, dark chocolate contains a large number of antioxidants (nearly 8 times the number found in strawberries). Recent research has shown that there are various nutritional benefits of dark chocolates.
http://www.healthypopulation.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/dark-chocolate-health-benefits.jpg
http://www.healthypopulation.com/healthy-lifestyle/sweet-benefits-of-dark-chocolate


The key is dark chocolate. It's higher in anti-oxidants and it boosted my metabolic rate. I was also constantly happy, despite all the trials and trepidations around me.

Life enjoys throwing you challenges. So what do you enjoy throwing back at life?

I choose dark chocolate as my weapon of choice.

By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Dec 04, 2010
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.



PHOTO: Dark ..... Let the Sunshine In!
After all we’ve learned about the sun’s damaging effects—uneven pigmentation, sagging skin, premature wrinkles, and melanoma. But let’s not act too hastily. Turns out, the sun helps your body generate much-needed vitamin D, which can combat osteoporosis. “Vitamin D is necessary because it helps you absorb calcium, which everyone needs,” says Alexandra Fingesten, MD, a doctor of internal medicine affiliated with New York University. “If you’re working inside all day, it’s important to get outside, even for a little bit. And consult with your doctor about taking calcium and vitamin D supplements.”
http://www.elle.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/sandbox/everything-bad-is-good-for-you/sunshine/3504570-1-eng-US/Sunshine.jpg
http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Society-Career-Power/Everything-Bad-Is-Good-for-You



PHOTO: Life enjoys throwing you challenges. So what do you enjoy throwing back at life?



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