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Movie Review: The Social Network Is Your New Friend


Justin Timberlake, Jesse Eisenberg, The Social NetworkMerrick Morton/Columbia Pictures
A-
Review in a Hurry: It's ironic that only a week after Oliver Stone's Wall Street sequel came out, The Social Network schools the old man by absolutely nailing the new generation of rich jerkwads, in this hip and savvy look at the life of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg).

The Bigger Picture: Admit it, when you heard somebody was making a movie about Facebook, you probably groaned, right? Made some kind of reference to how there needed to be a "Dislike" button you could click? Then when they announced that David Fincher would direct and Aaron Sorkin script, perhaps you had some second thoughts...but still have yet to be won over by those billboards of Eisenberg's scowling face.
Rest assured, this is trademark Sorkin and Fincher all the way, and the only reason not to see the movie is if you already hit the mental dislike button on those two a long time ago. Yes, Fincher misstepped with Benjamin Button, but remember, biopics tend to work better when they're about real people rather than fictionalized saintly figures.
Using the ultra-crisp cinematography afforded by the Red camera, and his trademark darkness and shadows, Fincher follows the progress of Zuckerberg—an antisocial prodigy who can't stop being a smartmouth even when it guarantees him trouble. He goes from the Harvard dorm where he expands upon various existing ideas to create a unifying Facebook, to the heights of success, where he inevitably loses friends and encounters lawsuits from everyone he might conceivably have ripped off in the process.
The Social NetworkColumbia TriStar
Two of these cases—one brought by former best friend and CBO Eduardo Saverin (future Spider-Man Andrew Garfield), and the other by elitist rowing championship twins (Armie Hammer, excellent in both roles), who arguably inspired Zuckerberg early on—frame the flashback action of the film.
The movie's title, especially in that familiar font, is meant to refer to Zuckerberg's famous creation, but it also indirectly refers to the various social networks people travel in at different stages, from the elite clubs at Harvard to the business alliances one makes and breaks later on. Napster cofounder Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake) proves instrumental in the latter.
And while some have been skeptical about Timberlake, both haters and fans should appreciate him here: The naysayers can boo him as he plays a despicable character, while supporters can admire the extent to which he's gleefully willing to subvert his own media image.
What will be difficult for some viewers, and likely Academy voters as well, is that The Social Network doesn't really offer anybody to root for. Though there's a forced attempt at a grace note near the movie's end, Zuckerberg as depicted here is not a guy you'd ever want to be friends with, and most of the folks he has run-ins with are even worse; his lack of pretension relative to them is refreshing, but doesn't necessarily make him more likable.
It's a compelling tale regardless, but viewers who prefer clear heroes and villains in their tales might leave dissatisfied.
The 180—a Second Opinion: Sorkin's stereotypical snappy banter, while not overrunning the movie, does dominate at least three key scenes (including the opening). While entertaining, it does draw attention to itself as less-than-realistic.


Movie Review: It's Kind of a Funny Story Actually Kind of a Touching, Quirky Story


Keir Gilchrist, Emma Roberts, It?s Kind of a Funny StoryK.C. Bailey/Focus Features
B+
Review in a Hurry: Feeling mental? Check out this Funny Story of a suicidal teenager (Keir Gilchrest) who checks himself into an adult psychiatric hospital. Aided by solid performances, this offbeat comedy lives up to its title, though it could have stepped a little farther out on the ledge.

The Bigger Picture: Based on Ned Vizzini's novel of the same name, Funny Story plays like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest as interpreted by John Hughes—and with a depressive Ferris Bueller at its center.
But directors-screenwriters Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck are running this asylum, where 16-year-old Craig Kilner (Gilchrist) is admitted after becoming overwhelmed by school, dating and other adolescent issues. Craig hopes for a quick fix, but is locked into a minimum five-day stay—and since the youth ward is under renovation, he's sent to stay with the adults.
One of the patients, moody wisecracker Bobby (Zach Galifianakis), takes the new kid under his (wounded) wing and becomes an unlikely mentor and friend. Also helping out is fetching teen and budding love interest Noelle (Emma Roberts), a recovering "cutter" who makes Craig forget his unrequited crush on a best bud's girl.
Boden and Fleck fill in plot bits and break up the sometimes-languid pace with Craig's voice-over/direct address to the camera, as well as animation and fantasy sequences. (The patients' glam-pop performance of "Under Pressure" is especially gratifying.) They use the devices to amusing effect and create a skewed sensibility without straining the quirkiness. Still, given the dark subject matter, the humor might've had a bigger bite if it had veered into a more daring, darker place.
Galifianakis develops a disarming rapport with the sweet, vulnerable (and thankfully not whiny) Gilchrest. The funny schlub—with his well-worn green sweater—slips comfortably into the role of wry observer but also shows surprising sensitivity and restraint in dramatic scenes.
Memorable in smaller roles are Viola Davis, oozing empathy as Craig's therapist; Daniel London as a "Hasidic acid-head" with ultrasensitive ears; and Bernard White as Craig's Egyptian roommate, who's too despondent to get outta bed.


Movie Review: Secretariat as Boring as It Looks


Diane Lane, John Malkovich,SecretariatJohn Bramley/ Disney Enterprises, Inc
C
Review in a Hurry: The true-life account of the "world's greatest racehorse" deserves better than this bland adaptation from the Disney factory. Worthy of the glue factory? Neigh! Secretariat is probably a safe bet for devoted horse-lovers, but others should pony up for a different flick.

The Bigger Picture: Following in the hoofsteps of Seabiscuit, this underdog horse tale chronicles the amazing journey of the 1973 Triple Crown winner. Wobbly Secretariat stumbles over a number of hurdles, though, notably Mike Rich's generic script, which trots out one cliché after another during its long gallop to the finish line.
Dressed in Mary Tyler Moore outfits and a stiff, Pat Nixon-like wig, Diane Lane portrays Denver housewife and mom Penny Chenery, who takes over her deceased dad's stables in Virginia. Despite her lack of horseracing knowledge, she bucks the male-dominated biz and invests in promising colt Big Red, later renamed Secretariat.
She hires veteran trainer Luicien Laurin (John Malkovich) to whip him into shape, and against all odds, they foster the first three-fer Winner in 25 years.
Hardcore racing fans might be disappointed by the film's focus on Penny's home life and investment woes, with banal family scenes involving her skeptical husband and war-protesting daughter. Plus, the film cuts corners on action sequences, depicting the stallion's mounting fame with a single slo-mo shot—and the penultimate race with stock footage on the Chenerys' TV.
Plus, don't expect any gritty portrait of the racing industry—Secretariat is as edgy as a Kentucky Derby bonnet. Scenes are awash in golden light and underscored with voiceover Bible quotes and gospel music. Holy cow, er, horse.
Lovely Lane rises above the cable-movie feel of the production but gets saddled with so many fist-clenching "we've-got-to-win!" speeches that you half expect her to exclaim, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"
Not as winning, Malkovich continues his string of over-the-top character roles with a showy turn as the flamboyantly attired crankpot.
The 180—a Second Opinion: It's always good to see Scott Glenn (here as Penny's pa), and as a fun distraction, notice how much—in old-coot makeup—he looks like Lurch from The Addams Family.


Movie Review: Every Baby Movie Ever + Rom-Com Clichés = Life As We Know It!

Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, Life As We Know ItPeter Iovino/Warner Bros. Entertainment
C-
Review in a Hurry: Goo goo gag gag. Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel star as bickering singles who become reluctant caregivers to an orphaned infant girl. Overly long Life has a few cutesy moments but is basically a rom-com genetically engineered by development execs.
TWITTER: Follow @eonlineMovies, 'K?
The Bigger Picture: As by-the-numbers as baby's first paint set. As formulaic as a nipple-bottle of Similac. As...well, you get the idea.
In a Battle of the Pepsodent Smiles, pretty caterer Holly (Heigl) and hunky network-sports director Eric (Duhamel) go on a disastrous blind date set up by mutual friends. The lady and the cad can't stand each other, so guess who's gonna be rocking the crib—and by "crib" I mean "bedroom"—before the movie's over.
When the aforementioned friends die in an accident, Holly and Eric learn they've both been named as guardians for goddaughter Sophie. So they attempt to put their differences aside and move into the dead couple's Atlanta home to raise the tiny toddler. Right...
What follows are regurgitated scenes from any baby movie: harried adults being puked on, changing poopy Pampers, feeding/bathing the fussy tot, struggling with strollers, etc.
Of course, Eric grows to love Holly and his new role as Sophie's dad. And Holly has to ultimately choose between romance with Eric—or with Dr. Right, handsome pediatrician Sam (Josh Lucas, showing off his natural Southern accent). Semi-spoiler alert: Can we please place a moratorium on eleventh-hour dashes to the airport?
Life is aimed at the Lifetime crowd, who will "Aww" at all the baby antics and swoon at all the shots of Duhamel putting on/taking off his shirt. The pic seriously overplays the man-candy jokes, with every straight woman and gay man drooling like newborns at the sight of him.
Yes, he and Heigl are easy on the eyes and generate a few sparks. But Life, with its steaming pile of plot contrivances and predictable gags, has all the freshness of a discarded diaper. 
The 180—a Second Opinion: Y'all, Melissa McCarthy is a hoot as a busybody belle with a dash of Sugarbaker-style sass. Speaking of, watch for a brief cameo by Designing Women's Jean Smart.